Saturday, January 07, 2006

New Years Resolution

2006 is going to be a good year...I can feel it. There is an electricity in the air, something that tells me that this year is going to be important. It's time for me to take action, it's time for me to take control of my life and make my own destiny.

2006 is going to be my year.

2006 is the year I start my mission to become ambidextrous.

I'm not going to lie, being right handed is awesome, but something tells me that I'm missing out. Being able to use my left hand as well as my right hand is a very appealing thought. Imagine being able to fill out forms twice as fast during visits to the doctor. Right now, I fill out forms with my right hand while my left hand just sits by my side useless. Throw a pen in my left hand, I double my output. That's a pretty nice skill.

My left hand is more like an assistant to my right hand. It holds the sales receipt as I sign with my right hand. It holds the jar as I unscrew the lid with my right hand. It's high time the left hand developed it's own skills.

So, I'm going to spend the year training my left hand to become a new right hand. I've developed a method of training that I think will help train my left hand in a quick and effective manner.

Undoing 26 years of left hand laziness is a hard thing to do. Therefore I believe the body and mind need sort of a "reset", and by that I mean shocking my body.

Step One:
Immerse right hand into boiling water.
What this will do is render the right hand useless. The resulting burn will make the right hand incapable of use as it recovers from the horrific burning as a result of the boiling water. This first step is perhaps the most important step in the process because it forces you to be serious. No one likes putting their hands in boiling water, so this step weeds out those who arent serious. Not only that, it also helps prepare the mind for the rigorous time in store for it as the shift is made to ambidextriosity,

Step Two:
Cry. It's ok. It's a rough change. Our world only recognizes right or left handed people. There's no real consideration for the ambidextrous. It's quite a jolt for the mind and body to train a non dominant hand.

Step Three:
Proceed to do everything with the left hand. Brush my teeth, pick my nose, throw, type, anything...I need to do everything with my left hand only. Even jobs for two hands, like tying shoelaces, or playing the drums or any instrument for that matter, I need to focus on using my left hand only.

I hope to make rapid progress, so hopefully in a couple months time, I'll enter the elite world of the ambidextrous.

I also have another New Years resolution which is to take more pictures of friend's high fiving.
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Although I'm off to a bad start. I cut off the actual Fiving of the High.

Eric what's with the enthusiasm? Did you get laid?
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