Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Japan! Kyoto first night.

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Feeling like absolute shit, I boarded a flight to Japan Monday morning, March 13th. For some freak reason, I came down with the most horrible cold possible. My throat hurt so bad, I had chills and wanted to die. So much so that I woke up early at 5am before my flight and tried to get my flight pushed to the day after with no luck.

I actually started to feel a bit better once I got on the plane. My throat still hurt bad, but overall I felt like I could survive even though I couldn't drink heavily which is how I usually cope with long flights. What sucked was that I was stuck next to a dude with the shittiest smelling feet I've ever had the displeasure of smelling. It was as if he had soaked his feet in a bath of cream cheese and butt sweat before putting on his socks and shoes.

Many uncomfortable hours later, I landed in Osaka/Kansai Airport. It was at the airport when I realized that I wasn't going to make it to my hostel in time. In order for me to get to the hostel in Kyoto, I had to board a train from the airport which would make the trip in about two hours. I needed to check into the hostel in thirty minutes. Great planning on my part, right? I tried to use the pay phone to call the hostel, but couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use it, or how the dialing works. It just kept going "Boop...boop..." followed by something said in Japanese. Frantically, I ran to the "Tourist Information Center" like a total rube and asked the lady how to work the phone. Turns out I had to dial zero before I put in the number for the hostel. Whoops. After figuring it out, I got through to the front desk which luckily hadn't closed yet, and the guy said he'd leave a key for me in the mailbox. Whew.

Getting on the train was another matter of difficulty for me.
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"Huh?"

No seriously...
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"HUH??"

I had no idea what I was looking at. The map was easy to figure out, but it was hard trying to figure out how much I needed to pay for the ticket, and how to use the machines to get the tickets. So I had to ask a bunch of people, who were nice enough to help me figure out what to do through wild gesturing and pointing.

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Feeling relieved on the train. Or confused. I don't know, both looks are the same.
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I got into Kyoto station at around 10pm, and made it to the hostel after a short walk from the station.

My hostel room was very small
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But I didn't care. All I cared about was sleep. I passed out hoping that in the morning I wouldn't feel sick anymore.

What the hostel looked like from outside
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The best part about the hostel, were the high tech toilet seats. First, the toilet seats were heated. They felt great. It's not the gross kind of warm like when you sit on a toilet seat after someone else had just sat on it. This was a soothing, comfortable kind of heat. In addition to the warm seat, the toilet featured button controls on the side. Each button activated an awesome high tech feature.

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Spray your undercarriage with some water. You can adjust the force of the spray all the way from gentle misting, to violent enema with the touch of a button.

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Water spray for the ladies, and a "Flushing Sound" button to mask the horribly embarrassing doo doo butt noise everyone hates. You know you make those doo doo butt noises. Don't lie reader.

While you're at it, don't forget the "Powerful Deodorizer"
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I have dreams about this toilet. Sexy dreams. I love you Super Toilet from Japan.

Up next: More from Kyoto, and then Tokyo.

Smell ya later.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Japan is Awesome

Which makes it suck so hard that I'm leaving tomorrow.

Anyway, this site has been dormant since I left. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already.

I have loads of pictures, and will commence a trip recap once I get back to good ol' Los Angeles.

Fun Japanese tidbit I learned during my travels: Japanese people speak great Japanese.

Ok, time to make the most of this last day in Japan......bye!

Friday, March 10, 2006

So much drama in the LBC....

I'm off to Japan this morning. Hopefully I can update while I'm abroad.

Last Thursday I went down to Long Beach with Jeff and Mike to visit our friend Phil. Phil lives right next to the raceway for the upcoming Long Beach Grand Prix, where cars race along the city streets.

We poached the course for a couple turns.
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The course looks awesome, and it will be cool to see the pros rip it up. I think it's April 9th or something.

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Mike warming things up

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Mike and Jeff perfecting their Bill and Ted impressions

Abe was pleased
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Party On Dudes! He says.

Phil has a little dog named Sammy that is the most rotten thing born of this world. How can a thing so small be filled with so much hatred? It does nothing but snarl at you, and try to bite your fingers. First he will try to fool you and get you to pet him, but then when you do, the fucker tries to bite you.

Here I am trying to handle Sammy, to teach him some respect
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Phil saw me mandhandling his dog, so he taught me some respect
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Fuck you Sammy.

We went out for some karaoke where I did "Wanted Dead Or Alive"
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In the middle of my blistering set, I kept yelling "Girl look at yo titties!" to the woman in the orange shirt dancing in front of the stage.

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I'm surprised that I don't have a big palm shaped mark on the side of my face. Apparently people thought it was funny. I vaguely remember yelling it out. I'm adorable.

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Mike sitting patiently for his turn

Mike got up next and brought the house down with "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" and an equally awesome version of "Hero" by the mole himself Enrique Iglesias.

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This lady kept busting up Mike's set
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Finally grabbing the mic at one point
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Here is her boyfriend as he collected his drunk lady off the stage
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All this went on as I cold kicked it at the foot of the stage
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Mike karaoked so well, that women were throwing panties on stage. Well, not real panties but
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Graphic representations of panties. I laughed so hard when I saw this happening. Judging by the looks of the riff raff that were in attendance, I don't think Mike would have wanted real panties.

Mike with all his panties
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The people that run the karaoke
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As we left the bar, Mike cheesily blew the girl above a kiss, and she just stared at him for a moment, then reached out and "caught" the kiss with her hand all slow like, deadpan the whole time. The kind of look you give when you find out you're being audited. It was then Mike knew just how relevant his decision to sing "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" was that night.

After karaoke we went to some Irish pub that's pretty fun. Some frat boy douchebag made a sarcastic remark about Mike's jacket, while trying to look all cool in front of his sorority dates. I don't remember what Mike said in response, but I do remember that it was awesome enough for me to want to high five him and go "Face" in front of the frat boy douche, but I didn't.

***I found out what Mike said, it was: "Thanks, your shirt makes you look like a shithead!". haha rad, after that I gave him the high five I should have given him at the bar, although there was no one around to yell "Face!" to."***

After that bar the night just went further and further into madness, but those are all the exciting pics I have.
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The end of the night. Mike and Jeff say "Find me some place to pass out!"
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Monday, March 06, 2006

San Francisco tour of Dan's office. Will's last day

I was up in the Bay Area over the weekend. I went into SF Thursday night to hang out with Dan, Rachel, and Will who was celebrating his last day at the office.

Following the suit convention to Dan's office building in the city.
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Everyone was out celebrating Will's last day. This is Will
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He looks sad in this picture because he was reenacting an event that had occured earlier in the day. If you look closely you can see that he is holding a skull with a carefully fabricated cigarette dangling from its mouth. This skull had been Will's most cherished cubicle decoration during his time there. Since it was his last day there, he felt that it would be a great gift to pass on to Dan.

Will waited for the right moment to offer this gift to Dan. I will pretend to be Dan
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"Hello this is Dan. I'm a big shot that has an office overlooking the bay bridge. I'm awesome!"

Will enters the office and presents the skull hoping that Dan would enjoy it as much as he did

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"What the fuck is this shit? I can't have this kind of stuff hanging around my office! I've got clients! Get the fuck out of here"

Which brings us back to this picture
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Honestly how can a man that has these in his office
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Turn down such a heartfelt gift from a friend? Sure it's a skull smoking a cigarette. If your client's can't get down with a skull smoking a cigarette, then they're not people to do business with. That Battle Of The Bay poster is awesome though..

Even though the skull was turned down, Dan and Will are still great friends. We kicked it in the office for a bit while people gathered their stuff, and then went out to celebrate Will's last day in proper manner. With booze.

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Hey what button do I press to get an outside line?

We hit up a couple bars including this one that featured a dude that looked like Jason Gedrick behind the bar
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Well, you can't really tell from the pic..

"Who is Jason Gedrick?". Watch Iron Eagles bitches.

At the same bar I also found Waldo
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Dancing like a douchebag. My camera couldn't quite capture the intensity of this guy's weird bowlegged, pretzel dancing.
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I guess he deserves props for not caring what others were thinking and dancing like no one was watching. Fuck that. I was watching. He should have been arrested or something.

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