Friday, July 14, 2006

Because Everybody Needs A Little Creepy In Their Lives..

During the past few weeks, in addition to trying survive my first month on the job, I've been attempting to clean up my cubicle. When I first started, it was very much the old assistant's desk. So, I've been trying to do what I can to make my workspace my own. The old assistant left some hats, some old promo material, and things like that. All normal stuff.

Except this thing:

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How creepy is this shit? For the past month this fucking marionette has been sitting at the corner of my desk. Staring at me with its beady painted on eyes. I uncovered it when moving a bunch of papers around, and was none too pleased. Three things creep me out in life. Spiders. Clowns. And Dolls. This doll should not exist. I don't like it. Here's another picture:

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Fuck that shit. Who the fuck wants to own this thing of pure evil? Where did it come from? I need to toss it in the trash, yet I've just left it there sitting in the corner for a month. Why can't I bring myself to throw it in the trash? I'll tell you why. It's possesed by something. Evil is preventing me from sending this wooden, painted, jester hat wearing manifestation of all that is unholy back to the stygian depths of hell from whence it came.

I don't know if it can move by itself or if the cleaning crew is fucking with me but I swear every other day, the doll is in a different position than I remember it being in last. One day it's sitting up with its back to the wall, then next day it's laying face down in the corner of my desk. I don't touch the thing. So what's moving it? It's most likely the cleaning crew, not evil posession that's making the doll move. That's the logical explanation.

But. The cleaning crew doesn't clean desks! My desk is never clean.No one else's desks get cleaned. So if the cleaning crew doesn't clean desks, the doll couldn't have been moved by them, leaving only one explanation. Evil is afoot.

During the past month there has been a bombing in India, rising conflict in Lebanon, a dog gave birth to a human baby, and the Oakland A's found themselves in first place before the All Star Break.

Sign of a coming apocalypse? Could the doll be sending us a message?

I don't know, but the fucking doll moves by itself!

What's making the doll move?

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What does the doll mean?
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IS IT THE END OF DAYS?
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Damn you doll.....damn you....
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Comments:
Thanks for keeping me up nights!!! That is some scary shit!!!
 
I don't know what's scarier.. the doll or the close up of your eyes. Anyways, M. Knight has nothing on the Lingman.
 
That thing looks like Lady Elaine Fairchilde from Mr. Rogers. eek!

[URL=http://http://www.blairmag.com/blair6/madame/elaine.jpg]Lady Elaine![/URL]
 
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thanks dude, i almost made it to the end, and then the last picture made me crap my pants.

now who's going to clean it up?

who i ask!!?!

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thanks dude, i almost made it through that post, until the last picture when i shit my pants.

now who's going to help clean it up?

who i ask??!

(that's just gross, but it was that scary!)

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Whoa, I can't believe you've still got that thing on your desk, seeing as how it fulfills 2/3 of your creepy criteria: It is both doll and clown. But it could be worse: My co-worker recently moved desks and found a drawer full of fingernail and toenail clippings. *Shudder*
 
Eric, I know who's making it move!!!! Lord Kuruku from the the Unico movies

http://www.fujikoma.com/unico/characters.htm

Scroll down till you see him. Oh yeah, that is a thing of pure evil.
 
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