Monday, November 27, 2006


I went home to the Bay Area over the Thanksgiving holiday, and on my flight back to Los Angeles, I flipped through the Skymall Catalog every plane offers to satisfy any mid flight urge to buy stupid shit.

Who buys this stuff? Who sits on a plane, and thinks to themselves, "FUCK! I must buy this now! This is what my cat has been dying to get, and would purchase if she only had access to a credit card and could get to the store"

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It's only 300 dollars. Now your cat can shit in the privacy of this dome, and not suffer any of the embarassing remarks cat usually get when seen crapping in a litter box.

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How about this thing?

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Sure, Skymall says it's an "attic tent", which is:

"The Attic Tent is a folding attic stair insulating cover that helps keep your house clean, healthy and cool. It prevents dust and insulation particles from leaking down - heat and air conditioning from escaping up. Made of durable nylon and foam, it provides easy zipper access and installs easily on any surface. Will reduce your power bills and improve HVAC efficiency to easily pay for itself in 1-3 years."

But really, when placed on any surface, this "attic tent" serves as a gateway to another dimension if the proper incantation is recited.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Kids having too much fun with their new fangled video games? Buy them this old timey baseball pinball game.Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Grandpa can tell ancient stories of baseball lore, a time when men were men...and players were white. Get it now! Supplies limited! Batteries and fun not included.

I don't even know what to say about this, just that under no circumstances should one buy and wear these:

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These are just terrible. Is it really ever that cold in a house to warrant wearing these fuzzy body condoms? The first lady, the one making that wonderful popcorn thing is sitting by a fireplace in what seems like a cozy house. I bet the heater is on too. How cold can it be in there? Sweatpants are bad enough, this thing is like some sort of super sweat pant. Double minus points if worn with a pair of UGG boots.

Amongst all the crap Skymall offers, I will be buying this:

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From the website:
Hidden wireless GPS secretly tracks anything that moves - your car or your kid...or your kid in your car!

I can use this to track my favorite celebrity starlet. Who you ask? I'll give you a hint:

She has breasts.

I can't wait for it to be delivered.

haha yay! i almost forgot about those onesies for adults. they're not really even onesies though. sleeping bag-jamas?
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