Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Pancreas Tree!

During college I had a stellar Freshman, and Sophomore year of awesome grades, and kick ass scholastic motivation. Thinking that I had this "College Thing" figured out, I started slacking. A lot. My grades plummeted, and my motivation to do anything school related went out the window. All I did was goof off and ride my bike all day.

Recently, during a trip back home to my parent's house, I found an old paper I had to write for a Biology class. I don't remember much about the class, except that it started really early in the morning. The topic of the essay was Insulin, and I assume it had to meet a two page requirement, otherwise I would have just ended it after the first paragraph.

While reading the paper you can tell that I totally copied text from a science book, but I don't even think I copied the book properly, because nothing makes sense. Then the rest of the paper, is just some random bullshit, where I don't even try to come up with a clever way around my ignorance of the subject matter. It's just terrible all the way through. You can read the paper below. If you can make it past the first paragraph, you get a gold star. (If the text is too small you can zoom in. Fancy!)

Read this doc on Scribd: panda paper


I can haz a college degree now?

They're Taking Away My Fucking Parking Spaces!

Screw you crazy Polygamist group!

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http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/04/29/national/a012511D61.DTL&feed=rss.news

Fuck you Crazy Eyebrowed Austrian Daughter Sexing Guy!

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http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080429/ap_on_re_eu/austria_captive_daughter

All your messed up kids are going to be driving cars, which will then take away more possible parking spaces for me!

Yaaaagghghghhhhh!

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